I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
