I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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