this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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