Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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