Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm too high and old for this...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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