hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
