Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
