Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just took my morning after pill in the library
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
