Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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