i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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