this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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