The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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