did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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