this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
