Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
