you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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