whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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