He told me they were just razor bumps!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
