You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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