I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize