whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
