you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
