did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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