dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
