Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
