you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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