a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i would punch a child for taco bell
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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