I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
