UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
