i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
