Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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