Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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