margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did i walk over a car last night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
