One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
