i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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