so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
