there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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