Little spoons don't ask big questions
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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