If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
