win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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