I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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