i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
