I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
