I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
