Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
