She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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