At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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