Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize