dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I cockslap morals
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
