so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
