And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
