all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Someone signed my nipple.
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