he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
