Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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