Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
