Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
