East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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