Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
