do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
