my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
