maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
