found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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