sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
