We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
