you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
